Chasing Tomorrow Page 20

  “I need you to lift this leg,” Bruce said, pointing to Zach’s injured limb. “Let’s see how much strength you have.”

  Zach strained, but try as hard as he might, could barely lift it more than an inch or two off the mat. And worse yet, he could only hold it there for about fifteen seconds before fatigue set in, and it dropped back down on the therapy table.

  “Very good,” Bruce said and wrote something on Zach’s chart. “This gives us a starting place to build on. Now, let’s check the flexibility. Can you bend your knee?”

  Zach attempted to bend his knee, but without much success. Not only could he not bend it, but it hurt. He lay there steeped in frustration and despair.

  “Stay positive, my friend,” Bruce said. “You’re in good hands. We’re going to get this leg back to full function. You believe me, right?”

  Zach just stared at him. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

  AS HIS leg healed, and with every visit to rehab, leg function improved. First, Bruce had him doing leg lifts to build back strength. Slowly, Zach could lift the leg higher and higher, but just when he was feeling good about his progress, Bruce added weights to make it harder.

  Next the goal was to try to get his knee bending. Stiffness and pain stopped Zach from bending the knee himself, so Bruce took over.

  “Here let me help you.” With gentle but firm pressure, and despite Zach wincing in pain, Bruce pushed Zach’s knee closer and closer to a ninety-degree bend.

  “Son of a bitch, that hurts,” Zach wheezed.

  Bruce chuckled. “You know the saying…no pain, no gain. So, buckle up, my friend. You’re probably going to hate me before this is over.”

  Finally, Bruce had him stand on his good leg, then touch down and put weight on his injured leg. After a few days of this, he took a few halting steps, walking between two bars to keep himself from falling. His doctors had prescribed an aggressive form of rehab, and day after day, Bruce put him through his paces.

  But if the days were filled with many hours of PT, the nights were hell. He lay in his bed with nothing but his thoughts for company. He tried to picture his future…life without his career. Being in the military was all he’d known. All he’d ever wanted to do. He’d never once considered the risk. Never imagined himself injured.

  In his twenties, he had to admit nothing had been more important than being a Navy SEAL, then later a Black Op. He’d had nothing but shallow relationships with many women which filled the void when he was not with his true love, the next mission he would undertake. His career was the real love of his life.

  Then, it all changed. He met Arianna…in Afghanistan of all places. Thinking back, he had to smile. Damn, that girl had courage. She was fearless, and he was sure he’d fallen in love with her from the moment he first laid eyes on her. He’d never met anyone like her and though admittedly, sometimes he couldn’t decide if he wanted to kill her or kiss her, he knew he loved her.

  Yeah, kill her or kiss her, like now. He told her not to follow the bomber’s wife. She had, and his worst fears had come true. He had no choice but to rescue her, and look what it had cost him. On some level, he was ashamed to admit, he blamed her for what happened to him. Even though getting injured was a chance he took on all his missions, he blamed her.

  Now, as he lay alone with his thoughts, regret ate away at him. Why had he been so selfish to think only of himself after the rescue? She’d been through hell, and what had he done? Thought only of himself. Crawled into his own shell of self-pity and shut her and everyone else out. And worst yet, he blamed her for his misery. “You’re pathetic,” he whispered to himself.

  So nearly healed, his leg didn’t ache anymore, but there was another ache he just couldn’t get rid of. It was the ache in his heart over missing Arianna…the real true love of his life. He wanted her back, but would she…could she ever forgive him? This question tormented him more than his leg injury.

  MILWAUKEE, WI

  THANKS TO security, Arianna and her mother managed to elude the gaggle of reporters who had invaded the hospital, looking for a story about her kidnapping. They arrived undetected back at Katherine’s home in Milwaukee. Arianna was moving around fairly well, but was plagued with infrequent bouts of nausea.

  “Have you checked the answering machine?” Katherine asked, as she stood in the kitchen making breakfast. “Most of those messages are for you. When you have a moment, please go over them and start returning calls and delete the ones you don’t want.”

  Arianna started through the messages, secretly hoping one might be from Zach. But it was not to be. With every upchuck from the nausea of morning sickness, she was beginning to hate him more and more for abandoning her.

  Then there was a message from her boss, Steve Shine, welcoming her home and talking about how they planned to feature her story on an upcoming broadcast. He thought it could only enhance her career. It would show the world she was a tenacious reporter who would go anywhere and take major risks to get a story. He felt getting kidnapped was a hard way to build a career, but this experience could work to her favor in the end.

  The rest of the messages were from other news outlets that had tracked her down to her mother’s address and were wanting to interview her. Some reporters had even parked outside the house, waiting for her to leave. It was at times like this, she missed the security of being behind the walls of Zach’s estate. She felt very vulnerable and once her pregnancy became known, she hated to think what the tabloids would do with that story.

  Rescued journalist pregnant with Taliban’s baby.

  Or how about,

  Boyfriend abandons journalist pregnant with Taliban’s baby.

  She ran to the bathroom and threw up. She wasn’t sure if it was from morning sickness or the thought of all this publicity hitting the paper.

  “Arianna, are you all right?” her mother asked, coming to the bathroom door.

  Arianna wiped her face with a wet washcloth and looked at her mom standing in the doorway. “That’s hard to say. Reporters are hounding me for a story by calling here night and day. Some are sitting outside my door so I can’t even leave the house. The man I love has abandoned me, and on top of it all…I’m pregnant.”

  Katherine gasped and fell back against the door jamb.

  MILWAUKEE, WI

  Pregnant? Kathryn stood in the bathroom doorway with a stunned look on her face, her mouth agape. She wrung her hands together and stammered, “Were you, uh, is it, uhm, uh….”

  “Was I raped?” Arianna answered. “No. Is it Zach’s baby? Yes. Does he know? No.”

  Kathryn heaved a sigh of relief. “Wow, this is quite a shock.” She followed Arianna out to the kitchen and slumped down in a chair. “How long have you known, and why didn’t you tell me? You’ve sure taken me by surprise. I don’t know what to say.”

  Arianna stood at the kitchen sink, looking out the window. “Believe me, Mother; no one was more surprised than me. As it turns out, I was pregnant before I got kidnapped. I don’t know how. All I can figure is I had switched to a new brand of birth control pills and, obviously, they didn’t work. It’s such bad timing. Even if things were good between Zach and me, I’m not sure he’s ready to be a father. This wasn’t in the plans, and now considering we’re not together, this is not the happy occasion it’s supposed to be. In fact, it sucks.”

  “Why did you wait to tell me?” Kathryn asked. “Did you think I would judge you for this?”

  “Hmm.” Arianna thought for a moment. “That’s a good question. I guess because I don’t really know how I feel about the whole thing.”

  “You’re not thinking about having an abortion, are you? Of course, it’s your choice, but I’m not in favor of that. I’ll stand by whatever decision you make, but—”

  “Funny, among all the confusing thoughts and emotions I’ve been having, that thought never crossed my mind. On one hand, I’m excited about being a mother. On the other, without Zach to share this with, I’m incredibly sad. Then again,
with Zach out of my life, I’m glad a part of him will always be with me, but overall, I’m also deeply saddened because this is not the future I planned for myself or want for this child.”

  Kathryn moved over next to Arianna and put her arm around her. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. It isn’t supposed to be like this, but perhaps in time it will all work out.”

  Arianna turned and looked at Kathryn. “I think that’s just wishful thinking on your part, Mother. Zach’s made his feelings quite clear.”

  “I know, but maybe if he knew about the baby, that might be the one thing that would bring him back.”

  Arianna scoffed. “Really? What are we going for here…the sympathy vote? Entrapment? Of course, he will have to know some day, but for now, I’d either want him to come back because he loves me and misses me or not come back at all. I would never want him to feel coerced or trapped by an unplanned pregnancy. Anyway, given his present state of mind, I think him knowing about the baby would only throw him into a deeper state of depression. Or worse yet, he may be angry and try to insist I have an abortion. No way is that happening.”

  “Well, you don’t know that for sure, Arianna. It’s really hard to say what his reaction might be. It could go either way. I know I’m excited to be a grandma, but just like you, I’m sad that Zach isn’t in the picture to make this a joyous occasion.” She let out a soft sigh. “How far along are you?”

  Arianna came over and sat down at the table. “Not very. Maybe six, seven weeks. I’m worried about all those reporters out there. They’re going to have a field day with this when they discover I’m pregnant. I can see the headlines now. They’ll assume I was raped in captivity and this is some terrorist’s baby. When that happens, I’ll be the subject of everyone’s gossip and pity. If I tell them it’s my former boyfriend’s child, who abandoned me…more pity will be lavished on me. I don’t want anyone’s pity, and I don’t want to be the subject of anyone’s gossip.”

  “I see what you mean, but hopefully your rescue will be old news in a week or so, and no one will even care.”

  Arianna looked at her mother. “You are ever the optimist. That’s what I love about you, but as much as I try, I can’t find the happy ending here. I’m so sad. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out. I can hardly get out of bed. I wish someone could wave a magic wand and make all the sadness go away.

  “I hate this so much. I just want to hit someone or something. All I did was follow my passion. I did my job like a good reporter. It should have been okay, but look what happened. I’ve made a mess of everything. Zach’s life is ruined. My life is ruined, and it’s all my fault.” Bitter tears trailed down her cheeks. “Pregnant and alone. Ha! I’m carrying more than a baby. I’m carrying a whole belly full of guilt.” She turned and marched off to her room.

  AFTER DAYS of only coming out for a few bites to eat before returning to her bedroom, Arianna finally appeared in the kitchen, wearing clothes instead of pajamas for a change.

  “Good morning, sweetie,” Kathryn said. “You look nice today. Are you feeling better?”

  Arianna murmured an unintelligible answer.

  “Would you like some breakfast? How about some scrambled eggs and toast?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Look, Arianna,” Kathryn said, “you have to start eating. You’re pregnant and have to stay healthy for the baby. Now, I know you’re depressed, but this is not just about you anymore. If you’re going to keep this baby, then you need to start living for this baby.”

  “I know this, mother, but I’ve been throwing up everything I eat. I can’t keep anything down.”

  Kathryn set a glass of juice in front of her. “Understood, but you still have to try to eat. Also, you need to schedule a doctor’s appointment. You should be under a physician’s care. Our family doctor recommended a really good OB/GYN. Her number’s over there by the phone.”

  Arianna moved over to the desk and picked up the number.

  “There’s also been a ton of calls come in for you. You have to start calling these people back. Now, I don’t want to get ugly about this, Arianna, but you have to pull yourself together and move on.”

  “I will, Mother. I promise. I’m trying, but I’m sick, and it’s just so hard.”

  Kathryn came up behind her and gave her a big hug. “Sweetie, I know, but if anyone can do it, it’s you. Now, you have to try. You can’t hibernate in your room forever.”

  Arianna started playing the voicemails. There were several calls from Kevin and Lisa. She guessed it was time she called them back, but it was hard. She worried she wouldn’t be able to talk to them without breaking down. Exhaling deeply, she stiffened her spine and hit redial on the phone. After two rings, Kevin answered.

  “Arianna, for God’s sake, I thought you were never going to call,” an excited Kevin said. “How in the hell are you? I’ve tried and tried to reach you, little sis, ever since you were rescued. Are you all right? Why are you home? Where’s Zach? Did I hear it right? You guys are split up? You need to fill me in.”

  Arianna bit her lip and swallowed hard. She fought to keep her composure and keep from falling apart. “Zach was shot trying to rescue me. He was badly injured and was told his military career is over. He took it hard. I’m pretty sure he blamed me for that. He refused to see me, so yeah, it’s true. We’re not together.”

  “Damn, Arianna. That sucks. What the hell? How can he just abandon you at a time like this?”

  “Well, you’d have to ask him that. I’ve not spoken to him. I will say, however, that he’s right. This whole crisis was my fault. He told me to leave this story alone. Those were his last words to me. Of course, I didn’t listen because I never listen. All because of me, he lost his career.”

  “What a bunch of bullshit, Arianna. You were only doing your job just as he did his. He knew the risk. If he got injured, then that’s on him, not you, so stop blaming yourself.”

  “That’s what my mom keeps saying. I’m trying, but it’s hard.”

  “Give yourself some time. You’ve been through a lot. Give Zach some time, too. His career meant a lot to him, so I can see why he’s so depressed. But I think once he comes to grips with things, he’ll be back.”

  “Mmm, I have no idea, but it seems to me if he was going to have a change of heart, he would have had it by now.”

  “Time, little sis. Time cures all, but hey, not to pile on, I suppose you haven’t heard about Raul either.” He paused. “He passed away yesterday. His funeral is going to be next week.”

  Arianna gasped and sank into a chair. This was the last straw in the salvo of bad news she’d received in the last few weeks. More carnage from her ill-advised decision to follow the bomber’s wife. More guilt to bear.

  “He was on life support for about a month,” Kevin continued, “and just recently his parents decided to let him go. I called because I thought you might want to go to the funeral with me.”

  Tears streamed down her face. She didn’t know how much more heartache she could bear. Raul was more than a bodyguard. He was a good friend. He’d saved her life, and she couldn’t believe he was actually gone. A wave of nausea overtook her. “Kevin, I have to go.” She hung up and rushed to the bathroom.

  “Are you all right?” Kathryn asked, seeing Arianna’s sudden departure from the kitchen. She followed her into the bathroom and grabbed a fresh washcloth from the linen closet. “Who was on the phone? Did someone say something to upset you?”

  Arianna sat on the floor with her head in her hand, sobbing uncontrollably. “Raul died. He died trying to save me. I’m so sad. I don’t think I can bear it.”

  Kathryn sat down beside her. “Oh, no.” She pulled Arianna close. “I’m so sorry, but it’s not your fault. He was doing his job. It’s a risk you take in his line of work. You can’t bear the burden of this. It’s okay to be sad because you miss him, but don’t blame yourself for this. Do you hear me?”

  Arianna slowly rose and helped her mom up. “Th
ank you, Mother. I’m really tired. I think I’ll go lay down.” She skirted past Kathryn and started toward her room.

  Kathryn looked on in utter dismay. How much more heartache can this poor girl endure?

  She started back to the kitchen, when the doorbell rang. She hoped it wasn’t more reporters, looking for a story. Cautiously opening the door, she was surprised to see Zach standing there.

  MILWAUKEE, WI

  Kathryn stood there with a shocked look on her face when she saw Zach, along with Juan, standing on her front porch.

  “May we come in?” Zach asked.

  After a moment’s hesitation, Kathryn stepped back and allowed them to enter.

  Zach slowly stepped over the door’s threshold with his one good leg while he leaned on a cane and gingerly lifted his injured leg in behind him.

  Kathryn stood, arms folded across her chest, shaking her head. “You. You,” she said, her voice tinged with anger. “You saved Arianna, then you just ditched her. How could you?”

  Zach had a look of contrition on his face. “I know, and I regret that. I’ve come to try to make it right. With your permission, I’d like to talk to her.”

  Kathryn shook her head back and forth. “She’s beaten and broken. She nearly died out there.”

  “Yes, I saw her when I rescued her.” He swallowed hard. “It was hard to see her like that.”

  Kathryn unfolded her arms. “I do thank you for saving her, but why? How could you just ditch her when you got home?”

  “It’s complicated. As I said, it was wrong, and I regret it.”

  Kathryn went over and sat on the arm of a chair, a look of dismay on her face. “Well, I appreciate how you and your team saved my daughter, and I’m sorry about your leg, but what you did afterwards is unforgiveable. She needed you, and now, to make matters worse, she’s…” She hesitated, never finishing her sentence. “She’s uh, well, let’s just say she’s been through a lot. I hope you haven’t come to say or do something that will upset her even more.”