Chasing Tomorrow Read online

  Arianna grabbed some tissues, dried her eyes, and tried to compose herself. “I thought about you every day, Mom. I was so afraid I might never see you again. I prayed like I’ve never prayed before, and God brought me home, but, Mom, now I’m worried. Have you heard from Zach or anyone?”

  “The only person I’ve heard from is Lisa who called to tell me you were safe and give me your contact information. She said Zach was wounded. Is he all right?”

  Arianna swallowed hard. “I don’t know. There was gunfire all around us. I saw him fall and not get up. Several men rushed over and scooped him up. I tried to go to him, but they took him away on a different helicopter. I’ve not heard a thing. It’s been twenty-four hours, and I’m surprised neither Tony nor Juan have contacted me with an update on his condition. The fact that I’ve heard nothing is really upsetting.”

  “I understand, but listen, Arianna. Just relax. According to Lisa, you have some healing to do yourself. I’m sure if anything serious was going on, someone would contact you.”

  “No. No, that’s not true. It’s just the opposite. I think something serious is going on and that’s why they haven’t contacted me. If Zach could talk, he’d call me. If he had only a minor injury, he’d be here by now. I have to get out of here and go find him.”

  “Now, wait, Arianna. Stay right where you are,” Kathryn said. “Just settle down and relax. You’re in no shape to go anywhere. Where would you go anyway?”

  “I don’t know. Somewhere where people can help me locate Zach…people who could put me in touch with Tony or Juan. I can’t sit around here doing nothing.”

  “No. No. No. Stay put. I’m coming over to be with you. I was contacted by someone from the government and offered a seat on a government plane so I should be there by late tonight your time. We’ll figure this out together, and I’ll fly back to the States with you when you’re released. But whatever you do, do not go anywhere. Do you hear me?”

  There was a long silence on the phone.

  “Arianna, are you still there?” Kathryn asked.

  “Yes,” came the reply through muffled tears. “I’ll be right here waiting for news about Zach.”

  “Very good,” her mother said, heaving a huge sigh of relief. “Rest now, and I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

  “Love you, too, Mom.” Arianna clicked the phone off and sat there in a stupor. The nurse from the night before came into her room and saw her sitting awkwardly on the side of the bed.

  “Oh, here, hon. Let’s get you back under the covers.” The nurse took her arm and eased her back into the bed. “Your breakfast will be here soon. Are you hungry?”

  Arianna rolled her head slowly side to side.

  “Well, you need to eat so you can start getting your strength back and regain some of the weight you’ve lost.” She rearranged the pillow behind Arianna’s head. “I’m about to go off duty. Is there anything I can get you before I go?”

  Answers. Information. Help me find out what’s happened to Zach. She pointed to the phone. “Can you hand me the phone, please? I need to make a call.”

  The nurse raised her bed to a comfortable position and then moved the phone close to her. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Some man showed up on the floor around midnight asking about you.”

  “What?” Arianna perked up. “What man?”

  “Not sure. I was in your room, changing your IV bag when he appeared. You were sound asleep. He asked how you were doing. I told him what I could. He thanked me and left the floor.”

  “Did he give you a name?”

  The nurse checked Arianna’s IV one more time. “No name.”

  “What did he look like?”

  “Hmmm…. civilian clothes. Hispanic maybe. Dark hair. Brown eyes. Medium height.”

  This couldn’t be Zach, Arianna thought. He’s wounded. Tony? Juan maybe. They’re all Hispanic. But why wouldn’t he wake her? Why wouldn’t he leave his name or come back and see her in the morning?

  “All right then, hon,” the nurse said. “My shift is up. I’ll be back on duty tonight. I’ll be praying you get good news by then.”

  As Arianna sat alone in her room, a feeling of dread seeped into every pore of her body. She suspected the unknown man was Tony or Juan, and the fact they hadn’t come in to see her, told her something was very wrong.

  LANDSTUHL HOSPITAL, RAMSTEIN, GERMANY

  The anesthesia slowly wore off, and Zach woke to find himself in the surgical recovery room of Landstuhl Hospital. He moaned softly as a sharp pain radiated up his leg.

  “Push this button,” he heard Tony say. Tony placed the patient-controlled analgesia injector in Zach’s hand. “The nurse said any time the pain is too intense, press this button, and you can give yourself a dose of pain medication.”

  “Aaaahhh!” Zach moaned over and over as he pressed the button about five times.

  “It won’t help to press the button more than once,” the recovery room nurse said, as she came to adjust his IV and check his dressing. “You’ll only get so much medication no matter how many times you press your injector. Just give it a minute. You should begin to feel relief soon.”

  Zach rolled his head from side to side in obvious distress.

  “If you’re not getting enough relief, I’ll ask the doctor to up the dosage. Your surgeon should be here any minute to talk to you about how your procedure went.”

  Zach felt the medication slowly begin to work as his pain subsided. He peered down at his leg, immobilized by what looked like a metal cage. A maze of pins and wires seemed to be holding his leg together. He’d been hit by a barrage of bullets when they evacuated. His body armor had kept him from suffering a mortal wound, but nothing had protected his leg.

  He twisted in the bed and acted like he wanted to get up. Tony put a hand on his shoulder and eased him down. “Easy there, buddy. Just relax.”

  Zach continued to stir, still agitated and restless. “Where’s Arianna? Did we get her out of there safely? Is she okay?”

  “Roger that, but she’s messed up. Cracked ribs. Pneumonia. A urinary tract infection. Dehydration. Loss of weight. Luckily, no permanent injuries, so she should recover quickly.”

  Zach didn’t respond. What should have been received as good news, barely fazed him.

  A doctor came around the corner and approached his bed. “Good day, sir. I’m doctor Chaudhary, your surgeon. How are you feeling?” he asked in clipped English.

  Zach didn’t respond. He eased himself up on one elbow. “My leg. How bad is it?”

  The doctor paused a moment, then said, “There is no way to sugarcoat this, sir. The bullets shattered your femur and tore into the muscle around it. I did my best to piece things back together, but I believe your combat days are over.”

  Zach fell back on the bed and put his hand to his head. “No. No, that can’t be.”

  “You possibly will need one or two more surgeries, then much rehab. We will try to restore your leg to full strength, but I think you should not get your hopes up. You are lucky you did not lose the use of this leg entirely. I believe you will have a permanent limp, but at least you still have a leg. I am very sorry, sir.” With that he turned and left.

  Tony stood there looking like he’d been struck by lightning. He started to speak, then stopped, struggling to find the right words to say. He cleared his throat and said, “Well, this is not what we expected, but they have a great rehab facility so they’ll be able to fix—”

  “Don’t,” Zach snapped and put his hand up to stop him from saying anything more. “Don’t. Don’t say anything to get my hopes up when we both know I’m fucked over. My days as a special operator are finished.” He pinched the bridge of his nose to either hide, or perhaps stem, the flow of tears forming in his eyes.

  Tony stared at Zach with disbelief. No, this can’t be happening. He’d always seen Zach, his best friend, as someone who was invincible. This can’t be happening to him. He was at a loss as to what to say or do. An uncomfortable silen
ce hung between them.

  Finally, Tony swallowed hard and fought the tears that threatened to form in his eyes as well. “Ah, shit, man. Come on. Buck up, Zach. We’ve been through worst shit than this. You got to fight this, man. You need to stay positive. I’ll help you. We’ll get this leg moving again. Just be positive…and uh…”

  Zach slammed his fist down on the bed. “Shut the fuck up!” He struggled to sit up. “Look at that useless piece of shit.” He pointed down at his leg. “I don’t need a doctor to tell me this leg is worthless.” He strained hard, trying to lift it, but it didn’t budge.

  “Whoa! Hold on,” Tony said. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be moving your leg just yet.”

  “Well, that’s good because as you can see, I can’t. You know, maybe you and Juan could carry me into battle. Help me move from place to place. Prop me up so I can shoot. Is that what you had in mind by helping me? Maybe—”

  “Stop,” Tony snapped. “Stop. Enough of the bullshit. I’m just trying to look for the positive side of things.”

  “Well, I’m not,” Zach continued, not skipping a beat. “I prefer not to get my hopes up for nothing, so please don’t humor me.” He sank back onto the bed, grabbed his injector again, and pressed the button several times. “Aaahhh! Son of a bitch, this hurts.” He turned white with pain and lay back holding onto the side rail of the bed, waiting for relief to come.

  Tony took a deep breath. “I’ll let everyone know what’s going on,” he said in a calm voice. “I’m sure they’re all worried. I’ll talk to Arianna and let her know you’re okay. She’s on the floor above you. I’ll let her know you’re down here. I’m sure they’ll let her come see you.”

  Zach rose up again and grabbed Tony’s arm as he started to leave. “No. I don’t want to see her. I’m not ready to see her. I don’t want any visitors. Is that clear?”

  Tony turned and looked at him. “What? No, you don’t mean that. Surely…”

  “Damnit! Didn’t you hear me? No one comes through that door. Do you understand me? No one, especially not Arianna.”

  Tony glared at Zach. “You stupid son of a bitch. What the hell are you talking about? She’s the love of your life. What do you mean you don’t want to see her? She loves you. You guys both need each other right now. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve never wanted to punch you out as much as I do right now for this stupid, stupid reaction.”

  The recovery room nurse rushed over, having heard the words exchanged between these two. “Gentlemen, what is going on here?” She looked down at Zach. “Sir, is everything all right?”

  “Stupid?” Zach said to Tony, ignoring the nurse. “My life as I know it is over. Arianna’s going to be in love with someone who doesn’t exist anymore. Who am I? What am I now? My whole life’s work is gone. You think this is stupid? Then try switching places with me, you son of a bitch. This is my new reality.” Despair and anger consumed him.

  Tony stepped forward and put a tentative hand on Zach’s shoulder. Looking at the nurse, he said, “Can we have a minute, please?”

  The nurse hesitated.

  “It’s all right,” Tony said. “He’s my best friend. We just need a moment to work some things out.”

  “O-kay, but I’ll be right over here,” the nurse replied and walked away.

  Tony sat down on the side of the bed. “Zach, listen. I’m sorry what happened to you. I get it. I do. I’m sorry this happened. I don’t know what I’d do if it happened to me, but you’ve got to fight this. Remember your training. SEALs never quit. The only easy day was yesterday.”

  Zach lay there staring at the ceiling, his eyes still moist with tears.

  “I think you need to take some time to adjust,” Tony said. “Things are too raw now. I’ll tell everyone you don’t want any visitors for the time being. Give yourself some time to think this through. I suppose this means you don’t want any phone calls either.”

  Zach continued to stare at the ceiling, not answering, which was an answer in and of itself. He didn’t want any phone calls, either.

  The nurse returned to the bed with an orderly. “Time to move you to a room,” she announced and then began unhooking IVs and monitors in preparation for transporting Zach to a private room.

  Tony reached down and patted Zach’s hand. “Rest up, my friend. I’ll talk to the nurses on your floor and make sure they understand you are to have no visitors. I’ll talk to Arianna and your family and let everyone know you’re all right.”

  “Yeah, you do that. You call everyone and let them know I’m all right. Tell them gimpy will be home soon.”

  Tony winced, barely able to contain his frustration. “I’m gonna go catch some lunch. I’ll be back to see you this afternoon. Maybe in a few days when you start to feel better, you’ll see things differently.”

  AS SOON as Tony left the recovery room, he slammed his fist into the wall, over and over until it looked like he might punch right through the drywall. A nurse approached and tried to calm him down.

  “Are you okay, sir? Here. Here,” she said, trying to get him to move over to a chair to sit down.

  He collapsed against the wall, buried his face behind his arms, and sobbed. This can’t be happening to Zach. Not him. Please, God, no. Zach wasn’t the first soldier he’d seen badly wounded, but he was the first one who had brought him to tears. That was his best friend lying severely wounded in that bed, his career likely over. He didn’t think he could bear it. In a way, life as he knew it was over, too.

  “Sir, can I get you anything?” the nurse asked.

  Tony stepped back and acknowledged the nurse for the first time. Wiping the tears away with the back of his hand, he said, “No, thank you. I’m fine. Thank you.” He walked on down the hall to find a quiet place to start making some calls.

  He looked at his phone with dread. The conversations he was about to have would require all the strength he could muster in order to get through them without breaking down. He called the hospital information desk and asked for room four thirty-eight. He waited as the operator connected him. An anxious voice answered.

  “Arianna? This is Tony,” he said. “I need to give you an update on Zach’s injuries. I’m afraid I have some bad news for you.”

  LANDSTUHL HOSPITAL RAMSTEIN, GERMANY

  Bad news? Tony had called to tell her there was bad news about Zach. A lump caught in Arianna’s throat. Her heart started pounding. She eased herself out of bed, held tight to the side rail, and braced herself for what Tony was about to tell her.

  “Zach’s been injured badly,” Tony said. “He’s alive for sure, but his leg. Bullets shattered his femur. Shredded the surrounding tissue. The surgeon did his best to repair the damage, but he told Zach his military career is probably over.”

  Arianna gasped and her legs buckled. She almost collapsed. Was it due to the excitement of finally hearing he was alive or the bad news that life as Zach knew it was over? Either way, the news was a shock.

  “No,” she whispered. Finally finding her voice, she said, “Oh, God, no. His career is his whole life. He must have been devastated when the doctor told him that.”

  “He was.”

  Arianna swallowed hard. “Where is he? I have to go see him.”

  There was a long pause on the phone. Finally, Tony said, “Uh, well, you see, that’s part of the problem. Zach’s pretty broken up about this and doesn’t want to see anyone.”

  Arianna frowned. “N…no one…not even me?” She thought she might have misunderstood him.

  Dead silence on the phone.

  “Not even me?” she repeated. “Why? Wha…? I don’t understand. Why would he shut me out? We’ve been together for over a year. We’re…we’re in love. Why wouldn’t he want to see me?”

  Tony let out a long, exasperated sigh. “It’s complicated, Arianna. He doesn’t want to see anyone. I was there when the surgeon delivered the bad news, and Zach totally lost it. I think he just needs time to adjust. He’s going to ha
ve some intensive rehab. Maybe with luck, they can get his leg back to normal. I’m not really sure what’s going to happen. He’s half out of his mind. I’ve never seen him like this.”

  “Where is he?” Arianna asked with determination in her voice. “I don’t care what he said. I’m going to go see him.”

  “Uh…that’ll be hard. He’s in…uh…Iraq. A field hospital in Irbil. There’s no way you can get clearance to go there.”

  “Well, pull some strings. Do whatever you have to do to get me there.”

  “Geesh, Arianna. You’re in no shape to travel, I…”

  “Three days. Just give me a few days, and I should be well enough to make that trip. Damnit, Tony. Find a way to get me to that hospital.”

  “Arianna, please,” Tony pleaded. “Stop. I can’t. You can’t. It’s no good.” There was a long pause. “Ah, shit. Even if I could get you there, I’m sorry, Arianna, Zach won’t see you. He’s adamant about it.”

  Tony’s words cut like a knife. Tears pooled in her eyes. She had thought her long nightmare was over. As she lay captive and injured in that cave, she’d dreamed of the day she’d be reunited with Zach, a man she loved more than life. The thought of seeing him again was the one thing that had kept her alive…but now, given these new circumstances, it seemed her torment wasn’t over. The words, “He doesn’t want to see you,” rang in her ears. Her long nightmare continued, and she didn’t know how much more she could take.

  “Arianna, listen,” Tony said. “I’m working on Zach. I told him this not wanting to see anyone was crazy. I think once the shock of the injury wears off, and his leg starts to get better, he’ll come around. You know he loves you. He won’t be able to stay away from you forever. Just give him some time.”