Chasing Tomorrow Read online

  Nothing but Arianna’s muffled sobs could be heard on the other end of the line.

  “Of course, in the meantime, you don’t need to worry about anything. I’ll make sure you’ll have whatever you need.”

  Arianna snuffed up her tears. “You don’t need to do that. I can take care of myself.” She cleared her throat. “My mother will be here tonight. She’ll stay with me and take me home when I’m released.”

  “I’m so sorry, Arianna. I really am. Hang in there, and I’ll be in touch, okay?”

  “Sure,” she responded lamely and hung up the phone. She stood there immobilized, staring off into space, numb inside.

  The nurse from the night before, coming on duty, entered Arianna’s room and saw her standing beside the bed. “Oh, hey hon, let’s get you back into bed.” She came over and pulled back the sheets to help her in. “Are you okay? You look like you’re in pain or distress of some kind. Can I get you anything?”

  Arianna waved her off. What she wanted, no one could get. She sat motionless in the bed. She didn’t want to answer any questions. She didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to do anything. Her brain was still reeling from the news Tony had delivered. She knew Zach so well, she completely understood how devastated he was. Losing his career was like a death sentence for him. Sure he loved her, at least she thought he did, but she knew his career had always been his other love. Losing that was a death blow to him.

  Even so, she couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to see her. Did he blame her for his injury? He had implored her to leave this story alone, but she hadn’t, and now he’d been badly injured trying to rescue her. Did he blame her for that? Did he think this was all her fault? She felt he must. Oh, my God. What have I done? It hurt. A lot. Rejected by the man she loved. His losing his career and knowing she was to blame. She didn’t think she could bear it.

  Something inside her snapped. She wanted out of here. She wanted to go find him. She had to find him. She needed to talk to him face to face. This couldn’t be how things ended between them.

  “Unhook me from all this stuff,” she said to the nurse and threw the covers back to get out of bed. A feeling of going crazy and losing control overtook her. Her heart pounded in her chest. Her breath came in short bursts, and she felt an overwhelming sense of urgency to get out of this place.

  “What?” the nurse asked. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong?”

  “I have to get out of here. There’s something I have to do.” She started to rip off the tape which held her IV in place, wanting the IV removed.

  “No, no, no. Miss Garrett, don’t do that. Please, leave your IV alone and get back into bed.” She glanced at the monitor above Arianna’s bed. Her blood pressure was sky high and an erratic heart rate blipped across the screen.

  Arianna tried to push the nurse away and once again attempted to rip her IV out. “I want out of here, and I want out of here now.” She had to find Zach. She needed to go. To move. She couldn’t stay here anymore.

  The nurse called for help and soon two other nurses rushed into the room.

  “Please help me get Miss Garrett back into bed. I think she’s having a panic attack. Something’s really set her off. She’s trying to leave the hospital. She’s too ill to leave.”

  The nurses did their best to restrain Arianna and ease her back into bed. They held her there while the head nurse rushed out of the room to check with the doctor. She returned minutes later with a sedative.

  “Okay, hon,” the head nurse said to Arianna as she lay there arguing and wrestling with the nurses. “The doctor recommended something to calm your nerves.” She injected the sedative into Arianna’s IV tube. “This will help you relax, and then we can talk about what’s gotten you so upset. I’ll talk to the doctor about a possible release for you, but right now, just relax, hon. Whatever’s happened, I’m sure we can help you deal with it.”

  Arianna’s eyes became heavy, and she felt herself going limp. As much as she wanted to leave and go find Zach, she almost welcomed the feeling of euphoria caused by the sedative. She was slipping into la la land, and it actually felt good not to be able to think or feel anything. Yes, drugs. That’s exactly what she needed. Something to totally numb her senses so the pain and anxiety would go away. Sleep. Drug induced sleep. Refuge from the storm raging within her.

  “I TOLD her,” Tony said, standing beside Zach’s bedside. “It killed me to do it, but I told Arianna that you didn’t want to see her. I felt like a jerk. She didn’t take it well at all. I hope you’re happy.”

  Zach shook his head.

  “I told her you were in a field hospital in Iraq,” Tony continued. “She has no idea you’re one floor below her, or else I’m certain she’d be down her in a flash despite what you think. You know I’ve always trusted your judgement, so much so, I’d follow you anywhere into battle without question. That’s how much confidence I have in you, but you’re way off base on this, buddy. This is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen you do.”

  “Go home,” Zach said, finally speaking. “How would you know what this is like? You’re not the one whose career is over, so don’t judge me. Go home. My leg is hurt. My brain is fine. I can manage my own affairs.”

  Tony stared at him a minute. “I also spoke to your parents…another tough call. Your mom wants to come see you, but I told her not to. Just like Arianna, her feelings were hurt, too. She’s going to be calling you. You can at least talk to her on the phone, can’t you?”

  No response from Zach.

  Tony shook his head and a look of disgust covered his face. “You’re being such an ass. You think you’re invincible and can get through this all on your own. Well, don’t look for sympathy from anyone, especially me. I thought you were more of a fighter than this. Frankly, I think you’re being nothing but a fucking coward.”

  Zach wrestled himself up on two elbows. “Damnit, Tony. Go home before we both lose it. I don’t need sympathy. I don’t need you or anyone. Please, just leave.”

  Tony stared at Zach and stood there shaking his head. “Roger that,” he finally whispered, turned on his heel, and left the room.

  THE SUN had set, and it was dark in Arianna’s room when she began to rouse from her drug induced sleep. It’s funny how drugs work. You have a sense of euphoria when you’re under their spell, but once the effect wears off, you find yourself right back to how you felt before they worked their magic.

  She slowly sat up and looked around. Silence and emptiness. She had a feeling of being oppressed. Heaviness weighed upon her chest. Oh, God, I’ve got to get out of here. Actually, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. She should stay. She wanted to go. She wanted to stay. She didn’t want to go. Competing emotions warred within her. How would she be able to go forward without Zach in her life? How could she bear the guilt of causing him to lose his career? She was riddled with anxiety.

  Her night nurse came into the room. “Oh, I see you’re awake. How are you feeling, hon?”

  Arianna shrugged her shoulders.

  “Did I hear you say your mother was coming tonight? That’s nice. A girl never gets too old that they don’t need their mother.”

  Arianna stared off into the distance.

  “Dinner’s on its way.” The nurse came over to the bed and took Arianna’s pulse as she studied the monitor above the bed. “I think you must be feeling better. Your blood pressure’s come down some.” She adjusted Arianna’s bed covers. “Any word on that fella of yours who was injured?”

  “What?” Arianna asked as the nurse’s question slowly registered with her.

  “I asked if you heard anything about your boyfriend’s condition.”

  “He’s alive but it looks like his career is over. I’m pretty sure he blames me.”

  “We see that a lot around here. They all take it hard.”

  “He refuses to see me.”

  The nurse put her hand on Arianna’s arm. “Now, don’t you fret, hon. He’ll come around. Time ha
s a way of healing all wounds.”

  A doctor entered Arianna’s room. After verifying she was in fact the patient he was looking for, he asked how she was feeling.

  Arianna mumbled a barely audible response.

  The doctor checked her chart. “You had a rough time indeed, Miss Garrett. Your ribs will heal in a few weeks. Going to be some discomfort in the meantime, but with medication, you should be fairly pain-free. Antibiotics will clear up your urinary tract infection and pneumonia in a couple of days. You were quite dehydrated, but we’re rehydrating you with IV fluids.” He looked down at the food tray which had been delivered. “Need to eat to gain back the weight you’ve lost. I hear the food’s not too bad here.” He studied her chart some more. “Hmm. The best news of all is, it looks like your baby’s going to be okay.”

  LANDSTUHL HOSPITAL RAMSTEIN, GERMANY

  Arianna sat there with a stunned look on her face. A baby? I’m pregnant? She hadn’t had a period since before she was captured. She figured it was due to stress, but she was actually thankful. Her living conditions were so unsanitary; it was one less thing for her to contend with.

  “A blood test shows an elevated HCG level but nothing shows on ultra sound so you can’t be that far along,” she heard the doctor say. “When was your last cycle?”

  She had to think. “Maybe two months ago.”

  “And you were held captive for approximately a month, is that correct?’

  Arianna nodded. “I must have been pregnant before I was captured because I was not raped during my captivity. One man tried to rape me, but I fought him off. I have these cracked ribs to show for it. Someone came to my rescue and stopped the man from sexually assaulting me.”

  “You’re a very brave woman, Miss Garrett. I commend you for defending yourself. You paid a heavy price, but you lived to tell about it. And now you can live happily ever after with your new baby.”

  Sure, she thought. Zach’s baby. She didn’t know how she got pregnant. Birth control failure of some kind, but it was for sure Zach’s child. The baby of a man who no longer wanted anything to do with her. What should have been a joyous occasion was just another disappointing moment she faced in the aftermath of her horrible ordeal.

  “When will I be well enough to leave the hospital?” she asked the doctor. “I’m anxious to go home.”

  “Oh, I think you’ll be good to go in a couple days. As soon as the pneumonia and UT infection clear up, we’ll discharge you. The nurse said you were pretty agitated earlier today. Maybe you had an anxiety attack. Would you like to talk to a counselor or someone about your ordeal? We deal with PTSD a lot in this hospital.”

  PTSD? She had post traumatic ‘something’ for sure. “No, I think I’ll be fine. I know I’ll feel better once I get home and back around friends and family.” It was probably a lie, but she said it anyway.

  “Well, okay, I can give you something for your nerves, but don’t want to because of the baby.”

  Arianna carefully shifted in the bed. “I understand. I’m fine. I do not need anything, thank you.”

  “Good then, rest and relax. You’ve been through a lot. I’ll check in tomorrow, and we’ll talk about a release date.”

  Arianna thanked the doctor and watched him leave. She felt like crying again. What is wrong with me? She hated that she was so weak…so weepy. She was pregnant with Zach’s child. This should have been the happiest day of her life, yet here she was, in a complete state of depression. Depression so deep, she felt totally defeated.

  She put her hands on her abdomen. My baby. Zach’s baby. Our baby. She sobbed. Cried for what was. Cried for what could have been. Cried for what wasn’t to be.

  “ARIANNA, WAKE up. It’s me…your mother.” Katherine gently shook her daughter’s shoulder.

  Arianna slowly roused to find her mother standing by her bed. “Oh, Mom,” she said and threw her arms around her in a heavy embrace. Seeing her mother, the first friend or family she’d seen since her captivity, brought on a fresh wave of tears.

  “Oh, sweetheart, it’s so good to see you.” Katherine was overcome with tears as well. “I’m so glad they rescued you. I was afraid I’d never see you again.”

  They hugged each other for the longest time until Arianna finally grabbed some tissues and tried to dry her tears. “And I was afraid I’d never see you again, also. You don’t know how bad it was. At one point I was sure I’d never make it out alive.” The tears streamed down her cheeks.

  Katherine sat down on the bed and scrunched up beside her. “Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re free now. You’re safe.”

  Arianna let out a nervous chuckle. “I’m sorry to be such a blithering crybaby. I think all I’ve done since I got out of there is cry.” She blew her nose and dried her eyes.

  “You’re entitled to cry after what you’ve been through. Your body’s had quite a shock, so don’t apologize. You need to let it all out.”

  “I know, but I have to get it together. I have responsibilities to take care of.”

  “Now, don’t even think about work. You need to rest and heal. The job can wait.”

  She wasn’t thinking about the job. She was thinking about her baby, but decided not to announce her pregnancy to her mother for the time being. “How was your flight?” she asked, changing the subject.

  “I was on a military transport, and it whisked me right over here non-stop. They treated me like royalty. It was very nice.” Katherine smoothed Arianna’s hair back off her face. “What’s the latest on your condition?”

  “I’m healing. They’re taking good care of me. The doctor said I should be out of here in a couple days.”

  “Oh, that’s wonderful news. And what do you hear about Zach?”

  Arianna stiffened. She fidgeted with her blanket and bit her lip to keep from crying again. Something about being with her mother made her super sensitive to what was going on in her life. “He’s okay except for his leg. It’s really messed up, and uh, his military career is probably over.”

  “Oh, no.” Katherine gasped and put her hand to her mouth. “Oh, that’s terrible. His work is his life. He must be devastated. Have you talked to him?”

  “See that’s the problem,” Arianna said, gingerly sitting up in bed, still feeling the pain of cracked ribs. “He doesn’t want to see me.” She could barely get the words out. Despite her best effort, tears splashed down her cheeks. “I think he blames me for causing his injury.”

  Katherine grabbed more tissues and handed them to Arianna. “Now, why would he do that? He’s a soldier. Getting injured is part of the risk you take in that line of work. He knew that when he signed up, so why blame you?”

  Arianna blew her nose and dabbed at her eyes. “He told me to leave this story alone…not to follow the bomber’s wife. I obviously didn’t listen and look what happened. If I’d just let the story go, there would have been no kidnapping. No injury to Zach.”

  Katherine pondered that statement for a moment, then turned to face Arianna. “I’m sorry, but I’m not buying that. He shouldn’t make you feel bad for doing your job. And no one forced him to go after you. He freely went. He knew the risk as soon as he put on that uniform. He knows that so why is he blaming you? Shame on him.”

  Arianna looked at her mother and smiled for maybe the first time since her ordeal had started. Such a smart lady. This was exactly the conclusion she herself had come to earlier in the day. Yes, she did feel somewhat responsible for the situation Zach found himself in and was deeply saddened by it, but she wasn’t about to take the whole blame. After all, she had a right to follow her ambition, too. There was risk in her job as well, and she’d also paid a heavy price for taking that risk.

  She heard some commotion outside her door, and the head nurse came rushing in. Some cameras flashed, and Arianna sensed there were photographers in the hall. She hoped the privacy curtains around her bed had blocked any view of her.

  “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “I’m sorry, hon, bu
t it seems the story of your rescue has hit the news. Reporters are out there wanting an interview.”

  Arianna shook her head. “No, I don’t want to talk to any reporters.”

  “I know,” the nurse said. “We’ve put a guard on your door, so no one can get in here. Security is coming to clear the floor of all the reporters. Looks like you’re a celebrity.”

  Hardly a celebrity, she thought, and if so, it was a kind of celebrity she wished on no one. She may in time tell the tale of her kidnapping, but if she did, it would be at a time and place of her choosing.

  But this just confirmed what she already knew. Life as she knew it was over. She was going to be a mother. Maybe a single mother, but a mother. When her pregnancy became known, people would think she’d been raped. Think that she was carrying the baby of a one of her terrorist kidnappers instead of the baby of a proud former Navy SEAL. Could she handle that? She’d have to.

  LANDSTUHL HOSPITAL, RAMSTEIN, GERMANY

  “TIME TO get you up and moving,” the nurse said. She began unhooking Zach from monitors and tubes. An orderly joined them at the bedside and helped Zach into a wheelchair.

  “Where am I going?” Zach asked.

  The orderly released the wheelchair locks and began pushing him down the hall. “You’re off to physical therapy. The doctor wants you to get his leg moving as soon as possible.”

  “Good morning, Zach,” a physical therapist said when he entered the rehab facility. “My name’s Bruce, and I’m going to help you get this leg back in shape.”

  The orderly helped Zach transfer to the rehab table.

  “Are you ready to go to work?” Bruce asked.

  Zach nodded, not really replying. He looked down at his leg. Where there had once been a strong, muscular thigh, he now saw a long zipper scar and an atrophied muscle. Still having a fair amount of pain, he required continued medication.